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C. Paul Luongo's Published Columns

Friday, September 08, 2006

Furniture Store Commercials

Furniture Commercials

And then there are those “two boring brothers” one with a “hippie hairdo”, both with the worst Boston accents. They’re attempting to become media celebrities because they own a few furniture stores recently purchased by billionaire Warren Buffet.

Do we really need this kind of harassment, hawking furniture night and day on TV and Radio ad nauseam? They are the Taliban of the furniture industry, striking terror in the minds and hearts of unsuspecting, innocent Radio-TV listeners. They come on, without warning, interrupting my classical music station and forcing me to find safe haven in my CD’s and Tapes.

And how ‘bout the other one who constantly shouts, “I Doubt It!” as if he’s still a first grade retarded soul and the other who professes “comfort, quality and price, that’s nice, by jove, I think they’ve got it!” To add insult to injury, his wife is in the scenario as well. What a price to pay for marriage!

Indeed, a headache is all we all get from this and other loud, annoying phrases. And thwack goes my TV Zapper. Good riddance to this banality!

Since when did it become mandatory for unqualified improper Bostonians to show their worst speech and acting ability in TV-Radio commercials? It’s an assault on our intelligence. At least, in print ads, their dreary elocution and mindless, cheap Hollywood antics disguised to sell bargain furniture are hidden.

Are Bostonians so dumb as to reward these furniture B-players and encourage them with actually visiting their lairs and buying their stuff? My God, I think so; otherwise they wouldn’t be able to afford the media bills.

Then there’s the Indian who qualifies for dispensing embalming services to the needy with the drone of his funereal-accented voice attempting to encourage listeners to visit his “furniture or lighting store?” I don’t know which because as soon as he comes on I tune out. Again another abrupt interruption in my day of listening to beautiful music.

Shouldn’t broadcast executives be more sensitive to their listeners’ comfort? Don’t they know, we simply tune out and turn off?

Whatever happened to the Paine Furniture Company ads or other classic, elegant purveyors of fine furniture who better represented the furniture industry? They did it without gimmicks and made certain that their ads were honest, straightforward, direct, no-nonsense and intelligent, not tasteless gimmicks.

Oh, Mr. Sloane, where are you now that we need you?

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