Featured Column

C. Paul Luongo's Published Columns

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Normal Times

Normal Times

The President is at the World Series in New York practicing his pitching and being guarded by 1,200 of New York’s Finest along with the Secret Service and the National Guard watching all bridges, tunnels and subway stations.

A squadron of F-15 fighter jets stream overhead at Yankee Stadium in a 30-mile no-fly zone.

The Vice President is in a bunker at “an undisclosed location.”

Bomb shelters and gas masks are hot sellers.

The John Hancock Tower Observation Deck is closed and the whole block around it is barricaded.

Office buildings in New York, Boston and Washington, D.C. now require ID for entrance to floors above.

The LNG Liquid Gas tanker (that heretofore arrived and sailed away without notice) now requires a Coast Guard Escort into Boston Harbor and the bridges over it are closed for its arrival.

There are armed guards at all airports and the wait for security clearance is up to two hours.

Almost all airlines are bankrupt. The New York and Washington, D.C. shuttle is gone.

You cannot drive your car to the terminal in Los Angeles. You now leave it at a “satellite location” for a shuttle bus ride to the airport.

Knitting needles and jackknives are verboten for airline passengers.

Amtrak is booming with passengers!

The Post Office is installing equipment to detect “biohazardous materials.”

Anthrax has been added to our lexicon having affected postal workers, government employees and journalists.

Postal workers and other handling mail and packages now wear protective gloves.

The House of Representatives closes for almost a week due to Anthrax scares. Several Americans have died from it. The U.S. Supreme Court meets elsewhere.

The Emmys TV Show has been postponed twice for safety measures.

Unemployment is up and the stock market is down.

Profits are the exception and losses are reported everywhere.

Restaurants are empty and hotel rooms go begging.

Cruise lines are deep discounting and riverboats on the Mississippi sail no more.

The World Trade Center is gone along with 5,000 Americans including 350 firefighters, police, hundreds of young stockbrokers and innocent civilians.

“God Bless America” and the National Anthem are at the top of the Hit Parade.


No comments: